Star Wars!, or, how Jedi mind tricks can enliven a humdrum day

Things to do on a rainy day presents:

Star Wars Punch-Out Action Fig­ure Fun Day!
A drama­ti­za­tion in pic­tures and words.

Boy, what a dull day! Noth­ing to do, noth­ing to do. And sheesh, I don’t want to actu­al­ly do any­thing pro­duc­tive, like write or some­thing.

Ooh, look, kids! A Star Wars Punch Out and Play! action fun-time extrav­a­gan­za arrived in the mail! Just in the nick of time! I was per­ilous­ly close to being bored! Time to get start­ed!

Whew! That was a long twelve min­utes! But well worth the effort! Look how cool they are!

AWESOME! Take that, Three­pio, you uptight mass of use­less cir­cuits!

But what­ev­er will I do with them besides re-enact my favourite scenes both real and imag­ined? I’ll have to weigh the pros and cons, ask­ing the good and evil sides of my brain to help me nav­i­gate this del­i­cate conun­drum.

I know! I’ll get a shelf monk to join my shelf mon­keys! It fits with the theme, and pro­tects them from the dark side of dust and mildew.

I’ll use the pow­ers of both the light and dark sides of the force to help me with my culi­nary skills!

Don’t be afraid to use a store-bought BBQ sauce, my young appren­tice!

Feel the force of the steak’s nat­ur­al juices flow­ing through you!

I’ll use them to keep my cat mild­ly enter­tained for three sec­onds!

Run, Luke, run! The ran­cor is behind you!

LOL­Cats, eat your cutie muf­fin hearts out!

They can serve as handy tele­vi­sion dec­o­ra­tions, let­ting your friends know just how impor­tant the Star Wars uni­verse is to you every time you invite them over for a Futu­ra­ma sleep­over.

They can add spice to even the most hum­drum of road trips. Even my ’94 Sat­urn can be a Mil­len­ni­um Fal­con, thanks to Star Wars Punch Out and Play!

Who knew Yoda was such an effec­tive gar­den­er?

Boy, that sure was a fun day! Good-bye, Star Wars friends! I hope to play with you again real soon!

Wait, I live here.