Short Story Month: Feminists take over the playground

Baby Blues (Short Story Month #12)

Welcome to the conservative fantasy that is Baby Blues, where men are men, feminism is an insidious evil, and any deviation from the moral majority’s definition of the term “normal” is quickly quashed.

At first glance, the comedy here is straightforward: Zoe Blues has placed the garb of a female upon the body of Hamish’s overtly masculine action figure, to the young lad’s righteous dismay and indignation. On the surface, this is something we can all relate to: having our lawful property taken away without our consent, and having said object’s original purpose subverted by a family member. Like the time my sister used my cheese grater as a leg razor.

Yet the cartoon’s subtext reveals a more important secondary truth: that the encroachment of feminazi principles upon Biblically rendered, God-given male superiority threatens to overwhelm the fragile sensibilities of our young male warriors of Christ and turn them into shrieking, neutered Alan Aldas. Let Hamish’s impotent screams of dismay serve as warning, the cartoonist tells us, for the feminists are coming to slice off the scrotal sacs of men and make madams of Adams.

No doubt Hamish will soon be shunted off to a “Pray the Gay Away” camp, just as a precaution.