Now you too can smell like a moist netherworld beast.

Tired of per­fumes that lend you the aro­ma of flow­ers and Jen­nifer Lopez? Look­ing for a replace­ment to that library-relat­ed scent I told you about a few months back?

Well, your prayers to the demon under­lords of your night­mares have been answered!

Pre­sent­ing The Love­craft Col­lec­tion from the Black Phoenix Alche­my Lab; “scents inspired by the works of H.P. Love­craft and the Cthul­hu Mythos.”

Who’s Love­craft? Why that’s H.P. Love­craft, ear­ly 20th cen­tu­ry teller of tall tales, many of which sur­round­ed a bizarre mythol­o­gy of ‘the old ones’, beasts of unfath­omable ter­ror who parad­ed about our plan­et long ago.

And what’s a Cthul­hu? You sil­ly, Cthulhu’s not a what, it’s a who. And it is this:

Mmm, I’ll bet that smells great!

From the descrip­tion of Cthul­hu (the scent):

A creep­ing, wet, slith­er­ing scent, drip­ping with sea­weed, ocean­ic plants and dark, unfath­omable waters.

Doesn’t that sound divine? Also avail­able are odours such as Aza­thoth, R’lyeh, and Shog­goth.

All kid­ding aside, I am whol­ly heart­ened by such efforts to com­bine a pas­sion for lit­er­a­ture with a pas­sion for fra­grances. I whol­ly hope that they embark upon fur­ther literary/olfactory adven­tures. May I sug­gest Clive Barker’s Ceno­bite, a love­ly com­min­gling of acrid steel and blood-soaked flesh? Or Jeff Vandermeer’s Grey Cap, an earthy mush­room with hints of death?

Thank you to the good folks at io9 for bring my atten­tion to this won­der­ful, won­der­ful prod­uct.