The Subconscious Interview of Carsten Stroud

The Sub­con­scious Inter­view, where­in authors ask them­selves ques­tions this inter­view­er is too dense to think up him­self.

Today, Carsten Stroud (Niceville, The Home­com­ing) asks many ques­tions, but offers few answers. The man is hard core, refus­ing to let him­self off the hook with soft­balls, ask­ing ques­tions he him­self is afraid to answer. As am I, frankly, although I did try a few times. (Read the Con­scious Inter­view here.)

If I get rid of my dev­ils, will my angels leave too?

[ED.: Yes, if the dev­ils haven’t paid the tab.]

How can stuff hap­pen in a book I’m writ­ing that comes as a com­plete sur­prise to me?

Seri­ous­ly? I don’t under­stand that, but I swear it hap­pens to me all the time, and I would bet it hap­pens to all good writ­ers. So where does it come from? No idea.

Why do books like Gone Girl and Fifty Shades of Grey and every­thing ever writ­ten by James Pat­ter­son and all the Giller Prize Win­ners and the Book­er win­ners and Mar­garet Atwood and that large toad-like crea­ture who wrote Wolf Hall (named after some­thing over a fire, I think), why do they all do so F%$##@#!!!ing well while tru­ly great writ­ers (okay, writ­ers like me) suck canal water?

And why can’t I kill them?

[ED.: Because soci­ety.]

And why can’t I kill writ­ers who still use phras­es like “shots rang out” or “lit­tle Lind­say Lump­kin” or “my inner god­dess was doing the meringue”??? 

[ED.: Because…I got noth­ing here.]

Final­ly, why do most Book Fairs and Writ­ers Fes­ti­vals (NOT the Ottawa one) absolute­ly CRUSH the souls of all writ­ers dumb enough to show up?

Some­thing that should be fun, a lit­tle gonzo, and maybe a tad weird too, ends up play­ing like The Hog Futures Report on CBC Two? Thank God For Drink­ing!

[ED.: I’ve been lucky, have noth­ing but great things to say about the fes­ti­vals I’ve been invit­ed to. But I must agree whole-heart­ed­ly on the won­ders of drink­ing at said fes­ti­vals.]