However you want to say and/or spell it—Halloween, Hallowe’en, All Hallows Eve, The Night of Monsters, Princesses, and Princess Monsters—October 31 is indisputably the tiny chocolate bar industry’s spookiest time of year. With that in mind, I present 31 lists of Halloween-centric horror, of my own and my literary brethren near and far.
These are personal, highly suggestive lists of recommendations, avoidances, and/or reminiscences. I make no guarantees, save one: if you don’t read the whole of each list, you may not already be a winner. I don’t make the rules.
Horror Movie Titles That Tell You Exactly What You’re Getting
“There’s living dead outside! What time is it?”
Humanoids from the Deep
“Look! Humanoids! If only we knew where they were from…”
“Could it be a crocodile? Are we in the right movie?”
Return of the Living Dead
“There’s living dead outside? Again?”
Kingdom of the Spiders
“There sure are a lot of spiders hereabouts. Would you call this a country of spiders? No? Then what would you call it?”
“Could they be angry carp? Are we in the right movie?”
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?
I got nothing.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
“Of course they’re from outer space! They spell clown with a k, don’t they?”
“There sure are a lot of ants hereabouts. Would you call this a country of ants? No? Then what would you call it?”
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
“Nice bed. Did you purchase it at Johnny Depp’s yard sale?”
The Evil Dead
“I know they’re dead, but are you sure they’re evil? Maybe they’re just misunderstood.”
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Boy, everything just came together on this one.
“Hobo? Check. Shotgun? Check. Alright, start the madness.”