31 Lists of Horror: Movie Titles That Tell You Exactly What You’re Getting

Howev­er you want to say and/or spell it—Halloween, Hallowe’en, All Hal­lows Eve, The Night of Mon­sters, Princess­es, and Princess Monsters—October 31 is indis­putably the tiny choco­late bar industry’s spook­i­est time of year. With that in mind, I present 31 lists of Hal­loween-cen­tric hor­ror, of my own and my lit­er­ary brethren near and far.

These are per­son­al, high­ly sug­ges­tive lists of rec­om­men­da­tions, avoid­ances, and/or rem­i­nis­cences. I make no guar­an­tees, save one: if you don’t read the whole of each list, you may not already be a win­ner. I don’t make the rules.


Horror Movie Titles That Tell You Exactly What You’re Getting
Night of the Living Dead

There’s liv­ing dead out­side! What time is it?”

Humanoids from the Deep

Look! Humanoids! If only we knew where they were from…”

Alligator

Could it be a croc­o­dile? Are we in the right movie?”

Return of the Living Dead

There’s liv­ing dead out­side? Again?”

Kingdom of the Spiders

There sure are a lot of spi­ders here­abouts. Would you call this a coun­try of spi­ders? No? Then what would you call it?”

Piranha

Could they be angry carp? Are we in the right movie?”

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?

I got noth­ing.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Of course they’re from out­er space! They spell clown with a k, don’t they?”

Empire of the Ants

There sure are a lot of ants here­abouts. Would you call this a coun­try of ants? No? Then what would you call it?”

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Nice bed. Did you pur­chase it at John­ny Depp’s yard sale?”

The Evil Dead

I know they’re dead, but are you sure they’re evil? Maybe they’re just mis­un­der­stood.”

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Boy, every­thing just came togeth­er on this one.

Hobo with a Shotgun

Hobo? Check. Shot­gun? Check. Alright, start the mad­ness.”

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