31 Lists of Horror: Unpopular Halloween Costumes

How­ev­er you want to say and/or spell it—Halloween, Hallowe’en, All Hal­lows Eve, All Hal­low Even, Can­dy from Strangers Night—October 31 is indis­putably the cor­po­rate-man­dat­ed spook­i­est time of year. With that in mind, I present 31 Days of Devil’s Night lists, of my own and of my lit­er­ary brethren both near and far.

These are per­son­al, high­ly sug­ges­tive lists of rec­om­men­da­tions, avoid­ances, and/or rem­i­nis­cences. I make no guar­an­tees, save one: if you don’t read the whole of each list, some­one you love dear­ly will suf­fer an unfor­tu­nate paper cut. I don’t make the rules.

October 1, 2017

Least-Popular Halloween Costumes

  1. Mime
  2. Unscary Clown
  3. JarJar Binks
  4. Gilbert Gottfried
  5. Unsexy Nurse
  6. Mummenschanz
  7. Michael Cera
  8. Gentleman Gaga
  9. Fred Durst
  10. Repressed Librarian
  11. Darryl, that jerk from Accounts who’s always stealing your probiotic yogurt from the community fridge
  12. Oates
  13. Frothy, the Rabid Care Bear
  14. Messina
  15. Andrew Scheer
  16. Miles O’Crunchy, the Scab-Encrusted Leprechaun
  17. Tailor of the Son of the Blob
  18. The Shamwow guy
  19. Pluto Nash
  20. Robert Wuhl
  21. Sexy Trump Voter
  22. The Incredible Gulk (Dollar-store costume)

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